Friday, October 12, 2012

Care Package

I am so excited to be sending our lil man his very first care package from Mommy and Daddy!  I got him 2 pairs of pajamas and a cute baby photo album that we filled with pictures of us...his new family!!  Now, I know that at 4 months old, it may seem silly to think he will know who we are.  But it is more than that.  Just to know that something from us is finally there with him is a comforting feeling.

I had a hard time last night out of nowhere when I was looking at his picture, which is currently my screen saver.  My stomach dropped because it all of the sudden hit me that he doesn't have his mommy right now.  I mean, this seems obvious, right?  But I started to think of all that it means.  I remember when Maya was a baby.  She needed me for all of the necessities of course...feeding, changing diapers, bathing, getting dressed, etc.  But she needed me for so much more than that too.  Andrew and I were her everything.  We held her, kissed her, hugged her....we met her emotional needs just as much.  She knew who we were and felt comfort and love in our arms.  She felt safe with us.  I am sure our lil man had that too at first.  But then...he didn't.  For the past few months he has been depending on the women, the nannies, in the orphanage to meet his needs.  I am praying that they meet his emotional needs as well as his physical ones...but I just can't help but think it's not the same.  There isn't that one "mommy."  I am so scared that he feels lonely...and I know that we are going to have to gain his trust and teach him how to depend on us when we bring him home.  We will do our best to be his everything too...it may take time...but we will be there the whole way.

I do have the peace of mind that God is wrapping his arms around him every day, and every night.  He is, after all, Gods child to begin with.  I also had the pleasure of speaking with a couple families who have recently traveled to the same orphanage our son is at.  They have had nothing but good things to say about the nannies there and the level of care the children receive.  It sets my heart at ease a little.  I know they are holding him and snuggling him for me.

So until we can go to him, we feel so blessed to have other families traveling who are willing to bring him little  gifts for us as we continue to care for him from afar.  Please join us in praying for our little baby...

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