Oops

We sent our immigration packet off almost 4 weeks ago, with the knowledge that it would take around 8 weeks to get the approval back. We planned to use that 8 weeks to complete the rest of the paperwork for our dossier. Well....apparently they expect you to sign all the dotted lines....which we failed to do. OOPS! So we just got our packet back in the mail to sign. Now we have to resubmit it and wait another 8 weeks for approval! AHHHH!

After the emotional roller coaster of the past few weeks...I probably should have cried over this mistake. However, at this point, all I can do it laugh. I am tired of worrying and crying. I am ready to laugh, ride the ride, and enjoy the journey. This may set us back a few weeks...but that just means that our baby isn't going to be ready for an extra few weeks. Soooo, we will sign the portion we missed, resend it, and wait.

The good news is, everything else is almost completed! We are just waiting on Andrew's work to correct a letter they wrote as a referral. They have all theses policies about releasing info and have been a little difficult. But, it will all work out!!!!

I keep reminding myself that we will only get the baby we are suppose to get. I may make mistakes along the way, but God never does. He will provide us with the only child for us at the end of all of this. That makes me smile.

Beautifully Different

We are SO close to being done with our dossier, the paperwork for Ethiopia. Once it is completed, they will send it to Washington DC, and then off to Ethiopia! We will then OFFICIALLY be a "waiting familiy." It's so funny because I feel like all have been doing since March is "waiting," on things. But, this kind of waiting seems different. It's more like waiting at the end of an airport terminal. You know your person is coming soon. You will see them soon. You will watch them walk out of that terminal. You just don't know where in line the person is. All the previous waiting seemed so endless. There wasn't a light at the end of the tunnel. At least not one that was in sight. We knew there would be eventually, but now I feel like we can see it!!

I was talking to a good friend the other day who has also had biological children and chose adoption. We were laughing at some of the "waiting" similarities. I remember being pregnant for Maya and becoming so emotional about anything to do with children, babies, and even animals! All those sad commercials on t.v. would pull at my heart strings like they never had before. I blamed it on my raging hormones.:) I also, like most pregnant women, went through a nesting stage. I wanted everything ready and clean for Maya's arrival. I needed everything packed and in order. Planning was SO fun! And if you know me at all, you know I made endless amounts of LISTS! Every day we get closer to a referral and a child to hold, I feel some of these things starting again, and I have to admit, it's a good feeling. There are so many things that I was worried I would miss by not carrying my own child in my belly. (we carry our child in our heart instead.) But I have begun to be emotional about things again. I cannot hear a sad story or watch ANY of those horible infomercials on t.v. about abused pets or hungry children without sobbing. I am also feeling very protective of Maya, almost like I can feel that things are about to change for her and I am worried about how she will react. I want to protect her from any uncertainty. I can also feel that our time as we know it together is going to change as well. It will never be just the 3 of us again. On top of that, I feel nesting setting in. I have had this urge to cook and clean, and prepare again. Lists are everywhere!;) It's just funny to me how although my body is not necessarily preparing, my mind and heart have taken over to prepare me for another child.

I have begun to understand little by little that although this process is different, it is no less amazing and wonderous. Just because something is different than you are accustomed to, doesn't make it any less beautiful. Different is not always bad, just different. And different is beautiful too.

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Changes...

With change always comes uncertainty. We are in the process of making some big changes with our adoption journey. We are in the process of switching agencies...and we are feeling a little overwhelmed right now. We do not have anything bad to say about our previous agency and we are nothing but greatful to them for getting us to this point in our journey. However, we feel we are being lead in another direction. It's best described as one of those "God things."

A friend of mine, who has also adopted from Ethiopia, received an email from her agency asking for families who were desiring to adopt infant Ethiopian boys. They have a number of young children waiting, and no families to refer them to. Knowing that where we stood currently at our agency, we had an 8-14 month wait before we should expect a referral, she was very tentative to tell us about this. She didn't want to confuse us or add pressure. However, thankfully, she listened to her heart and felt God was telling her to pass the information along to us and let us decide what to do with it. I was immediately intrigued due to our long wait period. I want nothing more than to hold my baby boy in my arms...and if you dangle that possiblity in front of me...I am going take the bait. So we began looking into this other agency. There were some road blocks, as always, but overall, it seemed like the best decision for us at this time was to switch. Instead of an 8-14 month wait for a referral, we are being told we could have a referral in as little as 2-4 months!!

I have always been a believer that God has a plan for me. I have always felt that things happen for a reason. However, I have not, until recently in my life, actually known what this meant. Over the past couple of years, I have begun to understand. When I look at the timeline of my life and consider all of it's events, I am overwhelmed by gratefulness. I am so grateful that God knows my heart. He has placed people in my life at just the right moments and he has blessed me so much. I will never understand why everything happens, and I don't really want to. There is a sense of calm and peace in the knowledge that it is out of my hands. Some things in life just aren't up to me, and I love that. I have the peace of mind of knowing that things will turn out the way God intends them to, when he intends them to. No matter what decisions I make along the way, I will end up where I am supose to be. This is something that feeds my faith and my soul and keeps me going, even during the hardest of times.

So I am putting my faith in Him, again...as I will continue to do over and over again. I have faith that God blessed us with this information about waiting children for a reason. One of these children could be ours!!!!!