Day 4

We woke up early to finish packing up our things, shower, and meet our driver and Helen at 5am.  Man, that is early for me!  We met them down in the lobby of our hotel.  Helen, the social worker who traveled with us, is this 90lb, gorgeous Ethiopian girl.  She's about 25 years old and is so funny!  We got to know her a bit on our 3 day adventure.  She is so sweet, a strong Christian, and laughs a lot!  Especially while trying to teach me Amharic words...:)  Sami, our driver, is so cute!  He is a big teddy bear!

So we were off...driving out of the city.  I have to say, I was happy to be leaving to potent diesel smell of Addis.  I slept a little while it was still dark out.  When I woke up I was in awe!  The country is so beautiful!  We were in a flat area but could see the upcoming mountains.  We saw baboons and camels, lots of goats and cattle, and lush green hills everywhere!  As we drove, we got further and higher into the mountains.  It was breath taking.  I have never seen anything as beautiful in my life.

We stopped at a little hotel in Hawasa, I think, for breakfast.  It was nice.  We had scrambled eggs and ate them with injera.  Injera is a staple in Ethiopian food.  It is a yeast risen flat bread with a spongy texture.  They tear pieces off and use it to pick up their food...no forks.  Then we were off again.

I was more and more in awe as the trip continued.  I was so intrigued and amazed by the villages we drove through.  I wish we could have stopped and learned more about how they live there.  Most of the homes in the smaller villages were mud and grass huts.  Some were made of sheet metal and other things.  There are people EVERYWHERE!  We saw women cooking outside their homes, children playing and running around, and men working in fields or herding goats and cattle.  It seems like each village has a community well near the edge of the town.  You could almost always see women and children pumping and carrying jugs to and from the well.  They walk everywhere!  Now I understand better why they are so thin and fit...and we in the US...well...are mostly not.  They eat what they grow and are so active.  Almost all their labor is manual.  I was most amazed by how content and happy people seemed with so little.  I know you always hear this, but it's true!  These people live day by day.  They have one goal when they wake each day.  Get enough food, water, and work to get them through to the next day.  There are no big motivations of a newer, bigger, better house or car...or other material thing.  They just need to live for that day.  It's inspiring. I am sure they have worries ad fears for the future as well, especially for their children.  But they make the most of what they have, which seems so little.  But they are abundant in love!  Just like in the city, you see so many smiles, holding of hands, friends walking arm in arm, and happy kids.

One of the main things I took away was a new desire to be a better parent.  I saw so many men and women with their children playing outside.  I saw women sitting near their homes just playing with their babies and enjoying them.  The parents are very hands on with their kids.  They don't have all the distractions we have here.  I will be the first to admit that I struggle with distractions daily.  I find it so easy to hop on facebook or pinterest after work and provide Maya with a tv show or toys to keep her busy.  I want to be more than that for my kids.  I want to spend more time on the floor with them, playing with them.  I want to be available and hands on.  I want to appreciate the simpler things in life.

It took us roughly 8 or 9 hours to get to Dire Dawa.  Helen checked us into the hotel and left us to rest for a bit.  She couldn't believe we wanted to take a nap instead of getting lunch, but we were so tired!  Later that evening we met her for dinner in the hotel.  To our surprise, she didn't eat with us.  It was a little awkward, but she assured us she would eat later.  We found this was normal through our whole trip.  Rarely did either Sami or Helen eat with us.  I am still not sure if this is a cultural thing, or if they were not suppose to?

After dinner we headed back to our room for the night.  Meeting with the police officer on Leo's case and with the social worker in Dire Dawa were on our agenda for the next morning.  I was excited to see more of the city, and also to go to the hospital where Leo was found.  I wanted to gather as much information and as many pictures as possible so that someday, I could show them to Leo and tell him about where he comes from.

I have no idea what it is like to be adopted.  I don't know what it feels like to look different than everyone in my family.  I don't know how it will feel to know that he came from somewhere else, from someone else.  I hope and pray that he will feel blessed, like we do to have him.  But I know that somewhere deep down inside, he will have questions.  He will wonder about Ethiopia.  I want to do everything in my power to teach him about his birth culture, while making sure he is proud of where he is also.  I want to be open and honest about things.  I want to have a lot to share with him, although sometimes it feels we have so little knowledge. This was our only chance to gather answers to his questions.  I was ready to dig in!!!

Day 3

We woke up in the morning and headed to Kaldi for some macchiatos and breakfast.  Then we met Amy and her dad back at the hotel to head out to the orphanage for our second day with the boys.  We were more comfortable at the orphanage this time.  The pressure was off, we were already in love with Leo. (we had decided on his name the night before, after our first meeting with him)  We snuggled, played, giggled, and got to interact with some of the other children in the orphanage as well.  There were only 6 children there total.  We fell in love with all them!  There was one sweet little girl in particular, Saluna.  She was the oldest child there at 15 months.  She had amazing, big, dark eyes and was soooo sweet.  She was pretending to talk on a cell phone and was kissing everyone on the cheek.  It was a fun day.  I may or may not have caught the adoption bug again...:)

It was harder to say goodbye to Leo when we left because we would not see him again for a few days.  But the caregivers there are so reassuring with there sweet voices and big smiles.  It makes it easier to say goodbye to the kids.

After the orphanage we stopped for a little more shopping with Amy and her dad.  They had not experienced the streets like Andrew and I had so we were hoping to make the experience a little easier for them then it was for us.  I tried to prepare them a little for what they were walking into, although I don't think you can ever prepare yourself for some of the things you see in Ethiopia.

There are some places of sheer desperation.  That is one of the only words that I can think of that really describes parts of the city.  Desperate.  There are adults, and children...young children...who are just desperate.  They are desperate for anything you can offer them.  And they need so much.  In a perfect world, we could help them.  We could give them money, or clothes, or food.  But it's not that simple.  One of the hardest things for me, and one of the reasons it has taken me so long to write about this, is the feeling of helplessness.  You want to help and you want to give.  But there are times when you cannot do this.  You are in a position where you might be compromising your own safety by doing so.  The crowd of people that surrounded us got larger as we shopped.  More people following us, waiting for us outside of shops.  When there are that many people around you, all wanting something from you, it's hard to give anything.  If you give to one, you must give to all.  And it gets a little unsettling when there are hands grasping at you and so many hungry eyes looking at you.  Desperation.  So, what do you do?  You are told to just keep walking.  You do not make eye contact.  You do not acknowledge them at all.  You ignore them.  THIS is what makes me ill.  This is what I struggle with, even now that I am home.  I am not better than these people.  I am not above them.  Yet I walked past them as if I were.  It is very hard to hold your head up while you are turning down the least of these.  In fact, it makes me cringe.  What must they think of me?  Is this what Jesus would do?  Surely not.  It makes me feel ashamed.  I don't like being in that position.  And now that I am home in my big comfortable house full of food and fully furnished with all that I need, I cannot help but think of those people still out there.  The ones who are still walking the streets, waiting for someone to help them....I am now desperate.  I am desperate to help in some way or another...

After shopping we headed back to the room to rest a bit before going to court.  I was nervous about court.  I didn't really know what to expect.  I pictured standing in a court room in front of a judge who would be determining whether or not I was a suitable parent for my son.  I got sweaty just thinking about it.  I was also not feeling well.  I felt very shaky and light headed for some reason.  I kept thinking it was something I had eaten...now I wonder if it was just nerves?  Our guide, Alemu, picked us up and we headed to the courthouse.  We had to stop to make copies of our passports.  It was so hot out and there was a small shop across the street from the copy place that had raw meat hanging out.  I have never felt so close to passing out in my life.  Luckily I was able to hold myself together.  When we got to the courthouse we sat down in a small waiting room.  There were other families there too.  I assume they were all adopting as well.  They got called in one by one.  I had time to eat a granola bar that I had in my purse and I started feeling better.  We were called in all together, Andrew and I, and Amy and her father, along with Alemu.  It was just a small room with a female judge and someone collecting the paperwork.  She asked us a couple questions each.  "Do you have any other children at home?  Does she know about the adoption?  What does she think of it?  Have you met your son and spent time with him?  Do you understand this is final and once it is done, nothing can reverse it?  Do you still wish to proceed with this adoption?"  YES!!!  Then it was done.  She declared him ours by Ethiopian law, and we were excused.  I had a huge lump in my throat again...but this time is was from holding back happy tears.  He was mine.  After all of the waiting...he was ours.

We grabbed a quick celebratory coffee with Alemu.  Then we headed back to the room and decided to grab some dinner at The Friendship Cafe.  Amy and her dad were leaving that night so we said goodbye to them.  It was kind of sad because it was so nice having another family to do things with and experience this with.  We were on our own again.  But we enjoyed our dinner and had to walk back to the hotel in the dark.  I was really nervous, but it turned out to be fine.  We were leaving for Dire Dawa at 5am the next morning so knew we needed some sleep.  We watched some 30 Rock on the laptop, and went to bed.

Meeting my son...day 2 in Addis

I woke up at 5:30am on Monday.  There were dogs barking outside, a rooster who wanted the world the wake up, and all my mind could do was imagine what it would be like to hold my son for the first time.  All the months of paperwork, waiting, and the emotional roller coaster of it all, was finally going to be worth it.  I could not go back to sleep.  Thank goodness for wireless internet, even on the other side of the world.  Andrew and I got up and ready for the day and headed to our saving grace, Kaldi Coffee.  We have a new addiction for Ethiopian coffee...well...macchiatos really.  After a big breakfast of french toast and a good dose of caffeine, we headed back to meet with Amy and her father.  She is the other women from our agency who was also in Ethiopia to meet her son.  We hadn't met yet but I was anxious for some English speaking company.

Meeting Amy was great, she is so sweet and her Georgia accent is so charming.  Our driver arrived to take us to Engida and we headed off to meet our boys.  The drive there was much like the rest of the city we had seen.  There were people everywhere, walking down the road, laying in the grass, sitting against buildings, selling sunglasses and belts, and just hanging out.  But we had a good 20-30 minutes to chat a little, and think about our first meeting.  I had butterflies!!!!  I didn't know how it would be when we got there.  I sort of had this vision in my head of us waiting in a room and someone bringing him in...then there would be this big moment of pure joy as they passed us our son...

We pulled in to this super bumpy gravel drive with tiny little buildings on either side.  We stopped in front of a little gate and our driver got out and knocked.  We followed.  The lump in my throat was huge!  None of us really knew what to do...so we just stood there waiting for direction.  Someone came to the gate and let us in...I honestly cannot remember who it was.  But we went in and followed her up a windy staircase.  When we got to the top there were two rooms and a couple nannies caring for babies.  I was looking around trying to spot Amin.  Amy was told her son was asleep and we were ushered into the other small room.  Someone told us Amin was being washed.  So we stood there, waiting anxiously and smiling at the other babies.  I spotted a familiar face in an album in one of the cribs.  It was my friend Heidi who's son was also at Engida.  Then, a nanny came out of the tiny bathroom holding Amin.  She laid him on the changing table and took what felt like 10 minutes to put his diaper on and clothe him.  We just stood back watching.  No big anticipated moment, but amazing all the same.  Then she picked him up and handed him to me.  I held him close and kissed him over and over.  I was so overwhelmed with emotions.  It wasn't how I had imagined...but I was holding my boy.  He was soooooo sweet!  He is little, but chubby.  His skin is so smooth and soft.  He has these dark eyes that literally pierce your heart.  I could see my reflection in them.  I let Andrew have a turn as well and we took lots of pictures.  Our driver was sweet enough to record the meeting on my camera, but I don't think he knew it was a video b/c he was kind of all over the place.:)

By now Amy's son Michael was awake too and we were taken downstairs to the "sitting room."  We had about an hour and a half to hold him, kiss him, and play with him.  His smile is enormous!  He is getting a tiny tooth on the bottom as well.  It was great!  He never cried once.  I got to feed him, and then he fell asleep in my arms...all the waiting was truly worth it.  He is perfect.

After saying goodbye to the boys, we headed back to the hotel and grabbed some lunch at the Lime Tree with Amy and her dad.  Next, we had some time to rest in our rooms.  We were sooooo tired!  I guess all the emotions of the morning had wore us all out.

Our guide came and picked us up at 7pm to take us to a traditional Ethiopian restaurant.  It was soooo cool!  We all sat around a small round table and were served coffee and drinks.  Then we had some amazing Ethiopian food.  We let our guide choose what to order, and it was all yummy!  There was a big stage with performers singing and dancing all night.  It was so entertaining to watch the traditional dances that tell a story.  The music was great and the performers really got the crowd involved.

Overall, it was just a fabulous day.  I needed that after day one.  We slept great when we got back to the hotel.

Day one in Addis

When we woke up Sunday morning, we felt refreshed!  We were ready to meet with our guide and find out what the week had stored for us.  We had high hopes of being able to visit the orphanage.  But we waited and waited and still heard nothing from him.  The power at the Sadula went out for a while so we had no way to call him either.  Around 11am, we were able to use the man at the front desk's cell phone to contact our guide.  After we met with him, and found out we would not be able to go to the orphanage, we had enough time to go grab some lunch before our guide would pick us up for some shopping.  We walked around and found the Lime Tree restaurant.  Our food was good.  Well, mine was good, Andrew's pizza was just alright.  I got lentil soup and pasta with marinara, and he had pizza.

With very full stomachs we walked back to meet our guide and head off to shop for some souvenirs.  He drove us about 20 minutes through Addis.  It was cool to be able to see more of the city.  There is soooo much going on!!  There isn't a lot of regulations on driving so the roads are chaotic.  There was everything from palaces and men in suits, to shacks, homeless people, and herds of goats.  There is a lot of color everywhere!  All the little buildings lined up along the street are painted in different bright colors.  It's really beautiful.

When we got to the "shopping center" Alemu let us know he would be back in 2 or 3 hours...what?!?!  He was dropping us off!!  Just leaving us there!  My stomach turned a little.  I told him I thought 2 hours would be enough and he told us to meet him back in the same spot.  There were 2 roads that met in a corner to shop on.  There were about 15 or so tiny make shift shops on each road.  Each of the stores carried most of the same items, or similar things.  I found out I am NOT good at bargaining.  In fact, I am awful.  Andrew was a little better.  We got some great items...but the experience was bitter sweet.  There were so many children on the streets begging for food and saying, "hungry, hungry."  There was this one man in particular who was carrying a toddler on his back, while he was on crutches and only had one good foot.  It was just awful the way they looked at us...their eyes were just begging for something, anything.  The longer we were there, the more the crowd of beggars grew.  They could not come inside the stores, but they would wait outside the door for us to come back out.  They were relentless, no matter how many times we said no thank you to their sunglasses, belts, tooth brushes, and maps.  We were so afraid to give any handouts because there were so many people wanting.  We were afraid once we gave someone something, it would get worse.  It sounds horrible to say...but it was really a little scary.  I was so uncomfortable and my heart was breaking for them...I wanted to give...but it didn't feel safe to do so.  I just wanted our guide to come back.  We finished shopping in about an hour.  But we couldn't wait on the street for him to come back so we just kept on pretending to look in the same shops we had already been to.  Finally, we met 2 guys who became a huge blessing!!!!  They took us under their wings and totally looked out for us.  They invited us to sit in the entryway of their shop.  They brought us chairs and offered us coffee and tea.  They very gently encouraged the beggars to stay back and move on.  Some little girls came around and just stood near us, playing, but watching us.  They were to intrigued.  And the guys who were helping us were SOOOO friendly and kind.  I felt so much better.  I wanted to be able to thank them in some way, but wasn't sure how.  Now I wish I would have given them something.  But we just talked with them, taking turns asking questions about each other.  They spoke enough English that we could communicate ok.  I am so glad we met them!!  It was so nice to just be able to interact with the locals a little, without feel intimidated.

One major thing I have noticed in the day we have been here is how much the people here in Ethiopia love.  You see men walking hand in hand or arm in arm.  They greet each other with hugs and often stand with one hand on the other's shoulder while speaking.  It's so endearing to see.  They have huge smiles and are just kind.  God is here....you can feel it.

Flying day...

The day we left was just chaotic!  We had a few last minute errands to run, and wanted to spend some time with Maya before we left.  So we ran around, got new tires, and took Maya to lunch.  After that we went home, packed up the Aspen...and drove Maya to Cassie's house.  It was just awful saying goodbye because I knew Maya didn't really realize how long we would be gone.  Thankfully, she is in SUCH good hands!  I am so thankful for my family and friends who have really looked out us and helped make this time as easy as possible for us.

After drying my tears, we enjoyed the rest of the drive to Chicago full of anticipation and nerves.  We really didn't know what to expect.  Neither Andrew or I have done much international travel.  My sweet sister, Carri, greeted us in Chicago with a beer to calm our nerves before driving us to the airport.

Flight one went well.  It was pretty smooth and we were able to get a little sleep, although it took a while to get tired enough to ignore how uncomfortable plane sleeping is.  Once we got to Istanbul...things got a little crazy.  We got off the plane and were completely lost!  We had no idea what gate we needed, and it wasn't showing on any of the screens.  We tried to ask, but the airport employees didn't speak English and better than we spoke their language.  Eventually we figured it out and were able to relax a little.

The second flight was rough.  We were exhausted, but couldn't sleep well.  Our monitors that each seat have for watching movies and listening to music were broken in our row.  Just our luck.  BUT, we had lots of time to think about what was to come.  I was nervous about the culture shock and what it would be like to be placed in uncomfortable positions that we weren't used to.  I was nervous about court, and mostly just the unknown of the whole trip.  That flight was only 6 hours and soon enough, we had landed....in ETHIOPIA!  IT was a great feeling to finally be there!

The airport in Addis is NOT like our airports in the states, or even the one in Istanbul.  But we got our visas, found our luggage, and then met our very sweet driver who greeted us with a huge smile and hugs.  He drove us to the Sadula, our hotel.  There, we unwinded a little and went to bed.  It felt so good to lay down!!!  My mind went about a million miles a minute with thoughts of what was to come....until I finally dozed off.

3 more days!!

Well, we leave in 3 days.  What?!  Really?  And just when I was starting to feel super stressed and overwhelmed, a wave a calm came over me out of nowhere.  Not really out of nowhere.  God has really had a way of placing some amazing people in my life along this journey.  I have made some forever friends through the process of adoption, and I could not be more thankful for them.

I have been prayed for, confided in, and calmed by their words and friendship.  So, although I am soooo nervous, I am also excited and hopeful about this trip to Ethiopia.  I know I have family and friends at home who, although they are not coming on a plane with us, will be with us the whole way!  One of my biggest fears is leaving my sweet 3 year old at home, but I also have the peace in my heart of knowing she is in good hands with my mom and cousins.

So, when you ask me if I am ready....the answer is yes.  I am ready.  I am also scared, nervous, anxious, excited, and sort of freaking out.  But my faith in the fact that God is leading us down this path and the knowledge that he has been with us all along, makes me confident that everything will be ok.

Thank you to my family and friends who have supported us in this.  Thanks to my special adoptive mama friends who have really comforted me in sooooo many ways.  You ladies are truly God sent!  And thank you for your continued prayers as we embark on this journey to meet our son.  I will try to keep you all updated from Ethiopia the best I can.

XOXO

COURT!!

I got another much anticipated phone call this morning!  It was our case worker letting me know we have been scheduled for court on Nov. 13th!  We got our referral less than 3 weeks ago!  What a blessing that things seem to be moving along quickly!  Time seems to finally be on our side.:)

So we are meeting with our case worker tomorrow morning to go over travel plans, paperwork, etc.  Then we will book our flights with a travel agent.  We are planning on being in Ethiopia for about 10 days.  We will get to spend some time with our son in the orphanage, visit some local sites/markets, and travel down for a 2 night stay to Dire Dawa, where our son is from.  I am beyond excited, and so nervous too!  I don't really know what to expect.  I know there will be a culture shock for sure...but I think we need that.

I am most nervous about leaving Maya for 10 days.  I have never been away from her for more than 5 days...and even that was hard!  I am so lucky to have the best family ever.  My cousin's Matt and Val are going to be taking Maya while we're gone...she is so excited to spend time in Ohio with the family and her cousins!  At least I know she will be in good hands between my mom and family!  I am soooo thankful to have them!

I feel so blessed that we are able to have this experience.  I cannot wait to see what God has in store for us from here on out.  This journey has been hard, crazy, long, stressful, rewarding, emotional, and eye opening....I am thankful for all of it!